the emotional intelligence of the church

i want to cross-post something from ken wilson's blog one step closer; it's his recent post on emotional intelligence...i thought it was quite good:

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Emotional intelligence matters when it comes to spreading the gospel. Jesus had it. When he saw the crowds he felt compassion for them because they were harassed and downtrodden, like sheep without a shepherd. He had the emotional intelligence to look past all the things that might have annoyed or angered him about the crowds, and saw them instead in a sympathetic, yes, empathetic, light. The culture war approach to Christianity, so prevalent in the church today, ruins our emotional intelligence and understandably makes the crowds fearful of the church-no wonder they are staying away in droves. No wonder the growingest sector of religious affiliation is "nones" and I don't mean "nuns."

Being right or sounding right or treating Christianity like it's primarily a "belief system" rather than a way of life, has blinded the church to her lack of emotional intelligence. Our emotions do two things: they move us to do things and they can be felt by others. Our words are one thing, our feelings are another, and people detect our feelings more powerfully than our words. All this talk of "hate the sin and love the sinner"? People feel the hate and the love doesn't stand a chance.

So let's pay attention to our feelings, just for this post. How do we feel about entire groups of people who stay away from church in droves?

How do we feel, for example, about people who have different political views? People tend to treasure their political views and take them personally. How would you feel about bringing yourself and your views into a setting in which you expected them to be met with, at best, polite-unspoken hostility?

How do we feel, for example about people who are part of the gay community? Many in the church are so caught up in the debates about gay marriage and so tuned in to media voices filled with contempt toward gays. Is it any wonder that that the church mirrors the emotions that go with the debates and the media voices? Are these the emotions that empower us to share good news the way Jesus shared his gospel of the kingdom with the sheep (of his pasture) who were harassed and dejected in his eyes, and made him feel deep compassion? Jesus has a heart of love for people that we can barely comprehend. I'm talking about his love. Do our feelings mirror his heart?

Or lets' take the feelings that ooze out of the church surrounding science and scientists. Say the words, "climate change" or "evolution" or "stem cell research" and what feelings are evoked within the church? Not thoughts, not opinions, not convictions, not beliefs-feelings.

The feelings of say, of a cornered racoon? Or a threatened porcupine? How effective are such feelings for announcing good news?

How do we feel about any group of people when we don't know very many of them personally? How do we feel about any group of people when we simply fail to give them the benefit of the doubt like we give ourselves and people we know well?

I suspect that this post might generate comments that are focused on the beliefs surrounding various "issues." But this post isn't about the issues, per se, or the beliefs surrounding them. Just the feelings. And just the feelings in relation to the impact the feelings have on our capacity to spread the gospel to people who are on the outside of faith looking in.

Duh, we need a little emotional intelligence in order to do our job